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Entry tags:
sweet, a little selfish
well. i suppose this is the beginning of what may be a very successful blog story, but is more likely going to fail very quickly. i've never been good at finishing...well, anything, and knowing there isn't going to be an audience isn't particularly helpful to this fact.
so why'd i start this?
i think i just need to talk. to someone, to anyone, need to share my thoughts, need to say something, need to say anything. i feel like i have way too many thoughts for me to process on my own. there's always something going on inside my head, i'll be honest, and i'm not always sure how to make it stop. i think it's why i got so addicted to microblogging platforms like twitter and tumblr, because they let me get these bizarre thoughts out of my head without putting in the effort of writing again.
i haven't written in so long. not really. not truly. i hope i can change that.
i don't know what i'll put here. maybe i'll talk about the random thoughts going through my head at all times, but maybe i'll make a separate blog (?) for that so i can use this more for "writing" writing. but maybe boxing myself in will creatively hinder me. i don't know yet.
maybe i'll write about my day. maybe i'll write based on prompts and create stories and characters on the fly. maybe i'll write poetry. maybe i'll just talk. i think i do that best. mostly, i just sort of want to get back into the habit of writing. not writing anymore is sort of the worst thing to happen to me creatively, but also mentally, i think. because then i became reliant on other people, on other places, on short snippets to properly convey what i'm feeling.
i no longer want people to know what i mean when i'm saying nonsense. i want to be able to say things and mean it. i want to be able to say things and know for myself. i want to be able to create and stop feeling guilty for how much i create. i want to tell stories, physical stories that i can hold and print out and say, look! i've created something, and i'm no longer worthless. i want that to be something i'm no longer ashamed of.
i know no one's here, but nonetheless. i can't help but hope i cultivate some audience. i hope someone reads this.
i hope you read this, and i hope it passes your standards. i hope i keep going.
let this not be the last of me yet.
p.s. honey by kehlani came out two years ago, and it's still one of the most beautiful depictions of love i've ever heard.
so why'd i start this?
i think i just need to talk. to someone, to anyone, need to share my thoughts, need to say something, need to say anything. i feel like i have way too many thoughts for me to process on my own. there's always something going on inside my head, i'll be honest, and i'm not always sure how to make it stop. i think it's why i got so addicted to microblogging platforms like twitter and tumblr, because they let me get these bizarre thoughts out of my head without putting in the effort of writing again.
i haven't written in so long. not really. not truly. i hope i can change that.
i don't know what i'll put here. maybe i'll talk about the random thoughts going through my head at all times, but maybe i'll make a separate blog (?) for that so i can use this more for "writing" writing. but maybe boxing myself in will creatively hinder me. i don't know yet.
maybe i'll write about my day. maybe i'll write based on prompts and create stories and characters on the fly. maybe i'll write poetry. maybe i'll just talk. i think i do that best. mostly, i just sort of want to get back into the habit of writing. not writing anymore is sort of the worst thing to happen to me creatively, but also mentally, i think. because then i became reliant on other people, on other places, on short snippets to properly convey what i'm feeling.
i no longer want people to know what i mean when i'm saying nonsense. i want to be able to say things and mean it. i want to be able to say things and know for myself. i want to be able to create and stop feeling guilty for how much i create. i want to tell stories, physical stories that i can hold and print out and say, look! i've created something, and i'm no longer worthless. i want that to be something i'm no longer ashamed of.
i know no one's here, but nonetheless. i can't help but hope i cultivate some audience. i hope someone reads this.
i hope you read this, and i hope it passes your standards. i hope i keep going.
let this not be the last of me yet.
p.s. honey by kehlani came out two years ago, and it's still one of the most beautiful depictions of love i've ever heard.
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Don't box yourself in too early. If you find that you're writing two very different things, and want to split them then, you can do it at the time. For now, just write whatever you fancy.